Why the Butt Double?

Ladies, I love you, but I’m done seeing your boobs everywhere. In movies, on magazine stands, and on late night TV, I search to see naked dudes, but it’s like a corn maze where every wrong turn just leads to naked girls. Now, I’m not here to make a case against female nudity, but just to openly petition for more naked men in the media.  

I’ve never gotten why men are so down to boast about their dicks, but suddenly turn Victorian when it comes to showing em off.

J Lo just shot a music video where she objectified men by making them do what video vixens have done for centuries: wash cars, sip drinks, shake their asses- all while barely naked. She said the director, who’s male, was clearly feeling uncomfortable shooting the men doing such unnatural acts, which meant she was doing something right. But, why was he so uncomfortable?

One obvious reason is that we as a society are uncomfortable with consuming the male body, consuming it in the superficial fashion we’re conditioned to do with female bodies. But I refuse to believe that’s the only issue.

I just don’t understand why in 2014 men are so unwilling to pose or act nude. Is it because they don’t have to or they’re afraid to? Is it our obsession with the mythical big dick? We want every man built like a stallion, and yet most show up a little short? Or is it that naked men just aren’t as profitable as naked women?

I wish I knew the answers. All I know is that if I’m living in a world where the producers of Game of Thrones are using a butt double for John Snow, and not for any of the female actresses, we have a problem.

On Labels, Preference, and Choice

Tom Daley recently came out as gay, confirming he’s not bi-sexual and apparently confusing the hell out of everyone.

Daley announced that he began dating a man and that he “still fancied girls,” but never labeled himself. Similarly, two years ago Frank Ocean wrote about an unrequited love affair with a man at 19, but, again, strayed from using a label-maker.

And yet, the media gave them labels anyway. Ocean was initially reported as coming out as bi-sexual. Wrong. Same with Daley: also incorrect. Both men simply said they’d had feelings for other men, no labels, end of story.

I don’t know why we’re so obsessed with labels, making sure we can classify someone to feel better about ourselves. Maybe we don’t like the ambiguity, or maybe it forces us to question ourselves — which scares the shit out of us.

The media is obsessed with classifying people, despite sexual orientation moving towards a label-less, sometimes description-less phenomenon. Daley said he fell in love with JUSTICE Black upon first sight, and that’s what prompted him to record a video saying so. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Loving someone and being able to express it just because you fucking want to? I have no doubt he had a difficult time coming out publically, but he seems happier because of it. Most people do.

Daley’s confirmed he’s a gay man, and everyone’s applauding. But the media really needs to watch it and start fact checking. Sexual preference is a personal choice, not always a public matter. And when it is a public matter, it’s still rooted in personal choice. We need to stop blaming celebrities for confusing us about what they want sexually. When someone says they love someone of the same sex, that’s all we really need to understand.

BEING GAY AND PLAYIN BALL

Michael Sam is a senior at The University of Missouri. He’s played defensive end (that’s football language) for four years. He’s the guy who won player of the year for his conference, is now an NFL draft hopeful, and just happens to be gay. Everyone and their homophobic uncle are having a major freakout, because OMG how is America’s pastime going to survive the gay apocalypse???

The idea that athletics and masculinity are eternally intertwined is something we learn early on. Boys play sports and girls play with Barbies. Imagine the ego blow my dad had when I was three and asked for a tea set (for the record, my mom bought it for me). Maybe it’s because I’m a gay cliché, or maybe it’s nature versus nurture, or maybe it’s because I’m the devil’s spawn (half true), but I never liked sports and it actually had a huge impact on how I was socially viewed. Because my interests weren't like the other boys, I was deemed gay by lack of association.

This probably was the opposite story of Sam’s childhood, because Michael Sam isn’t some average player; he’s good. Player of the YEAR good. From what I’ve researched (because let's be real I haven’t pretended to follow sports since high school) he’s got a real shot of being drafted based on his talent. Of course now there’s a media firestorm around his sexuality and people are betting it might kill his chances of going pro.

In our society we still hold onto the notion that straight dudes are masculine, while gay dudes aren’t. Gay men are still being labeled as weak, as less than their hetero counterparts. But what happens when one isn’t? When one isn’t just equal, but superior to the straight guys he competes against? What happens is that the hollow institution of masculinity, which our society has held on to for centuries, crumbles. And I have no doubt there are people who will stop at nothing to keep that house of cards standing.

Sam is strong, intelligent, powerful, and gay. He’s not just the first (potential) gay American professional football player, but the first face of what it means to be masculine and gay. Those who have tried their entire lives to make gay people second-rate citizens are questioning their morals because of him. And that is his biggest accomplishment yet.