Friday, March 28, 2014

Should I Call What I Do Manblogging?

Last week I ventured into new #gaybonding territory with my boyfriend, by shaving each other’s asses. Ignoring the feat that I’ve somehow reached a terrifyingly high level of comfort with someone in order to even attempt to do this, the entire thing was hilarious. My boyfriend and I sh- whoops, I’m sorry, we “manscaped.”

I’ve never really been one for obsessive upkeep downstairs (LOL). Maybe because I was #blessed with the hair growth rate of a 12 year old boy, but it’s never been a big worry of mine. If I remember, cool, if I forget, fuck it. By the time I’m getting laid it’s the last thing on my mind.

What I don’t and will probably never get is why is the act celebrated by many, and mocked by others. Is it masculine to emulate our cave men ancestors or is it masculine to keep just enough there to impress and excite our sexual partners? Check which box is more masculine, because no one seems to know the right answer!  

Manscaping, ew- what a moronic term. When did the wave of adding a masculine prefix to *~fEmInInE~* things begin? Mandals, manpurse, manbun (a personal fave). What’s our need to "man" up these things in order to justify them as socially acceptable? (This question and more on your Women & Genders Studies 1000 exam).

Shaving every last damn body hair off of a woman’s body is so assumed that there isn’t a term for it. Yet, instead of just calling it shaving, we had to invent our own male-centric terminology for it. MANscaping: So no one forgets that it’s MALE and TOTALLY NOT GAY OR GIRLY DUDE IT'S MANLY.

It’s hilarious that we instinctually evolve our language to justify stereotypically feminine practices as OK for men. Otherwise, god forbid, dudes be violating some sort of archaic bro code against their own masculinity.

Whyyyy do we keep creating shit like this and participating in a patriarchal4ever culture. If you want to shave your balls, shave your damn balls, and stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be doing, because that’s your own decision. Most importantly, say “manscaping,” out loud, recognize how stupid it sounds, and never utter it again.

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